Stress, they say it can be a good thing.

They say stress can be a good thing and can make someone acheive something. For example, work deadlines. In my case? Everything... Though I have decided if it's good or bad quite yet :-\

Today after stopping by my college to try and sell my books (they only took one back by the way), filling out a book loan app & getting my student ID, I became very anxious about everything I must accomplish now until February. You might well be thinking "February? You've got ages!" but alas, it's not that simple.

My to do list:
-Become competent in Algebra; both elementary & college
-Get high enough scores on my accuplacer to be put into Topics in Applied Mathematics
-Take NLN PAX once in July to see how I rank.
-Get my license
-C or better in A&P I
-C or better in A&P II
-Retake NLN in hopes my grades will be higher (January/early February)
-Complete application for nursing program.

All that plus a daughter & husband to take care of. And to top it all off... Were finally at the top of the housing list and have no money for a security deposit.

But I must take this day by day. I must continue learning the math I need and I really need some driving practice. And some chemistry review wouldn't kill me.

I know I want this & I want it bad enough. I can do this, I can do this. Now it's a matter of can I prove I can do this?


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I'd like the future now please :)

Wouldn't we all just love to have our futures in our hands today? All the hard college work, tears and frusterations have finally bear fruit and the future is here!! Well... It's not going to happen unfortunately :(

The past few days ive contemplated Certified Professional Midwife vs. Certified Nurse Midwife trying to really figure out which one I'd like to do. I started thinking I could be a CPM and start my hands on training right this second and it excited me! But, I think my original plan of becoming a CNM is the most wise choice.

But often I sit and wonder... Am I smart enough to gain my masters in nursing? And then pass the CNM licensing exam? Can I really do this? Can I even get into the nursing program? I'm really aiming to get into the Fall 2011 start program, but with everything I have to accomplish & acheive the impossible... I'm worried. I've decided I'll apply to four schools, with GBCC being my number one choice. I'll apply to GBCC, NHTI, MCC and LRCC. I'm really going to try to get good marks on my NLN... My advisor says that applicants with scores 90 and up get admitted into the program... I'm barely pulling a 65 in Math and a 55 in Science :(

At the moment I'm taking Algebra II as a PLATO class, hoping to gain some knowlege and get into the required math class, without a pre-req. We'll see. It would make my Fall schedule easier (and cheaper!) and I'd only be on campus two days a week, instead of four. I have until August to retake the accuplacer, though I think I'll first take it in July to see if I need to improve.

The semester ends on Thursday and I'm amazed I've survived, hahaha. My GPA is 3.53 & Im very happy about it. That is a solid GPA!

Another thing I've been worrying about is getting my license... I need it by mid August at the latest. I think I'll pass the written exam, but I wouldn't pass the driving test yet. I need soooo much more practice.

Well that's the latest on my journey :)


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Almost done my very first semester!

Wow, I can't believe it! I'm almost done my very first semester of college & loved it! Now only tons left to go, lol. I'm averaging roughly a 3.4 GPA, not too shabby, though I'd perfer it be higher.

Now, let me reflect on what i've learned this semester; about the world, about life & about myself.

Human Body has given me an awesome oppurtunity to get a base feel of life within the body. It amazes me! Cannot wait to take A&P! I can now explain processes in the body and it's so exciting!

Ethics broadened my views on the world and made me more tolerable of others' opinions. I appreciate the fact that i can now make a sound, concious descion about the issues in the world around me.

English was good, loved the papers I did research on, it taught me a lot. I took AP English 12 my senior year, so I already knew what we were doing in my college class; easy A :)

I learned that I need to be able to figure a situation out quickly, and rationally. That has paid off tremendously! I had quite a few ups and downs this semester, and it helped me persevere.

I learned that I need to apply myself a little more, study harder & recognize that I'm doing a good job. A 3.4 GPA isn't anything to sneeze at :)

What's in store for me next? Summer semester of course! A&P I and intro to psychology! Yay!!

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Birth Doula Class Begins

My Birth Doula class started today & it's great. Very relaxed online atmosphere that's chaulk full of amazing knowlege. I can tell already that I'm really going to enjoy Aviva Institute.

I bought myself this tshirt to get me started on my Doula journey! It's cute, fits well & is a great color.

When I complete this course & earn my certification, I shall be one step closer to becoming a midwife :) only years & years of college left, hahaha.

I'm all signed up for summer & fall classes! Anatomy & Physiology I and Intro to Psych this summer and A & P II, Algebra II and English Composition II in the Fall! Someone at the college told me today that I needed English Comp II anyways, that it wasn't an elective... I'm pretty sure it's not required? I don't know, if it is then okay, if it's not then great, there's my English elective.

UNH turned down my application, but it came as a relief. Now I don't have to make a choice. I can continue on my path towards getting my pre reqs done for GB's nursing program.

YAY! An A on a Human Body Quiz!

Well, don't I feel a little better! I just got 7/7 on my Human Body quiz on the muscular system! HOOOOORAYYYYY! I am so super duper pumped! My overall grade for the class is 86.6 %, which is a solid B I believe! My GPA thus far for the semester is 3.66 ! I have A's in Ethics & English and B's in my Human Body Class & Lab :) I am doing rather well!

A 3.6 is great! I am so excited! Everyone said I wouldn't be able to handle this...obviously they have no idea who I am, do they? HA! I'd like to laugh at my advisor's warnings... "Its a lot of work...we don't recommend it..." Well, look whos doing spectacular with all online classes? ----> THIS GIRL! <------

B- not good enough.

So I've been in classes for about a month now, and I have decent grades--- a 95 in Ethics, roughly a 95 in English (I Hope...she doesnt post actual grades...just checks off if she received assignments) and an 83 in Human Body... this 83 is upsetting me tremendously. It REALLY hurts my grade average if I get one god damn question wrong in a 6 question quiz. And what REALLY sucks? I study my ASS OFF! I really am thinking that this B- is not good enough and it's bothering the hell out of me. Everyone else says "Hey! Thats a decent college grade!" and I say "Omg, I suck at life."

It just scares me that my grade is "low"...like almost a damn C. THAT is why it isnt good enough. Just not god damn good enough.

I love college!

Well, I finally am a college student! I am loving my classes so far! I know they'll probably get harder, but I really enjoy them! I'm even ahead of schedule with my English & Ethics classes! I am fully prepared too :) I had a weekly quiz in The Human Body yesterday and I got a 6/7, 85% which is a solid B, but I'd really like to get an A for the class, that would be awesome.

A little bit of a damper on my parade though... apparently UNH & the tech schools run a transfer program which usually, is a good thing...but not in my case. In order to transfer into UNH they like to see english comp, a science class with a lab, and a college level mathematics, and you cannot have a grade below a C.... none of which I will have! But I am a special case, which really no one gets! This is my first ever semester of college, so it would be like applying as a freshman... I'm still applying, although I probably won't get in. We'll see I guess. UNH is extremely competitive.

So really, I have a few routes here:

--I could apply to UNH for Fall 2010 and get in... then I would just take my freshman year there...more expensive, but it's easier to transfer into their nursing program (Fall 2011) if you already attend UNH.

--Or, I could continue on at Great Bay for a few semesters and apply to UNH for the Spring of 2011, by then I'd have my transfer admission requirements out of the way. And then just apply to transfer into their nursing program for Fall 2011

--Or, I could continue on at Great Bay and apply for their nursing program for Fall 2011. I would graduate in May 2013, and would have dual admissions to UNH to get my bachelor's degree.

I've come to the conclusion that it would take longer at Great Bay, but would be cheaper. UNH is 12k a year... that's a lot. And thats NOT including books & what not. If I were to go to Great Bay for Nursing, It would take 3 years to graduate, and another 2 years to get my BS in Nursing... so 5 years. Then I'd have Graduate school to attend, so theres another 2 years. And my Nurse Midwifery program is about 2 years... so theres 9 years. YIKES.

If I were to go to UNH to get my BSN, it would take 4 years to get my BSN, another 2 for my masters, and another 2 for my Nurse Midwifery program... so 8 years.

I continue to receive letters from the CNM's I wrote to, I think I've received 5 letters back...and about 5 that were "undeliverable"...that really bites! All of the Certfied Nurse Midwives I've hear back from were very nice, and told me to go to the ACNM website for more information. I shall do that.

Progress!

I cannot explain exactly HOW excited I am to start school! My American Studies teacher Erica sent this in an email yesterday, about her reccomending me to attend the University of New Hampshire (I've ALWAYS dreamed of going to UNH).

"Of COURSE I will recommend you. Wholeheartedly! Enthusiastically!"

That was the first email, I absolutely beamed! I sent her my resume that I made up and she sent this back...

" To be honest, I wrote a recommendation for you when you were in my American Studies class. I went back to that, cleaned it up, and informed admissions that you are one thousand times better than any student currently enrolled at UNH."

STILL BEAMING FROM THIS! I adore her, she is an awesome teacher! I actually won an award in her American Studies class, I had a solid A in her class :D

In other news... I emailed my two high school teachers that I sent evaluation forms to, Mrs. Hippern (Health) and Mrs. Stone (Geometry) asking if they had received my eval forms... Mrs. Hippern shipped her's off to UNH yesterday and Mrs. Stone said she would work on it this weekend :)

I need to get to my highschool to fill out some paperwork about requesting an official transcript and pay a dollar. I think I will do that tomorrow since its supposed to be a little warmer. That way my awesome guidance counselor from High School Mrs. Humphrey can fill out my forms and write a recommendation for me.

I also need to get a letter out to Mr. Little who taught my independent study in English 11 and pushed for me to take AP English 12. He has a lot of faith in me, and I'm glad he does :) So yeah, I need to get an eval form out to him to fill out. Still waiting to hear back from Dan Gordon (Upward Bound director) about my recommendation, but he has an in with UNH, so I'm sure he's on top of it :)

In current college news... I start in 5 days! I will be taking English, ethics, the Human Body and the Human Body lab. yesterday, my Human Body professor put a welcome message on blackboard for us and to explain how class will work. OMG, I am so excited! I picked up my books for my classes on tuesday annnnnnd... GOT A NEW LAPTOP! Our computer died last week and so my husband applied for a Best Buy card and we got a laptop for me :)

I'm in a state of Euphoria, I truley am. I need to get over this hurdle and get into UNH. After that, I can attend my "freshman" year and apply to transfer into their Nursing program. And I will be a graduate of the class of 2014!!!! Which sounds awful because I have friends who graduate THIS year :-/ But oh well :)

My fears about not getting into UNH

So lately I have been getting together references, evaluations, and my application ready for UNH. I recently found out that no matter what, I must apply as a transfer student... Gahhh. But oh well, I just have to fill out a different app & have 2 of my college professors submit forms for me. I'm still going to include my teacher evaluations because my college professors won't know me very well. And there's this stupid form I have to have the college rep fill out... The same my high school guidance counselor had to fill out... Except Mrs. Humphrey knows me extremely well and really wants me to get into UNH. And I'm worried that the college rep from GBCC won't give me a good reccomendation simply because they don't know me. What if thry sabotage it because they dont want to loose a student to UNH?? Im paranoid, can you tell? That means I really need to step it up a notch and work my ass off in my classes. I'll be taking three online classes, ethics, English comp and the human body (and the lab that goes with it). 11 credits total. I want to get into UNH incredibly bad. I am praying that the references from Dan, Erica, Mrs Humphrey and Sue will help. UNH is becoming a hard school to get into, but Dan and Erica have SERIOUS connections.



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